April 7, 2005
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Motivation:
Knowing that you're someone else's inspiration. Wow.
That, and proving people wrong, when they say "You can't do that." Or surprising them. Or that little silver badge, and the knowledge that I'd got just that little bit further to go.
Knowing that I can, and that it's a waste if I don't. I'm determined. So sucks to anyone else who tries to make me do what they may feel is better for me, including myself. Sidmouth Folk Festival, last year, is a case in point. Glastonbury too. I didn't really want to be at either of them for most of the time I was there: and Sam thought I ought to go home from Sidmouth, making it quite clear from the very start that he simply did not want me there (because I refused to sleep with him any more). But I'd made that much effort to get there, I was going to give it my best try. Even if I did end up feeling somewhat suicidal by the end of Sidmouth. The good times just about outweighed the bad, and the friends I made there have made it more worthwhile. Not that I'd do either again. Not like that, anyhow.
xxx
Comments (2)
Being inspirational and proving people wrong - two things I try my damndest to be good at. Not that I think I succeed, not on the inspirational front, anyway ...
It is good when you stick two fingers up to the world and say I did do it isn't it.
Everytime I walk into my flat I remember the chocolate teapots mother who said I would never amount to anything without her son and couldn't cope alone. I think not.
Being an inspiration can be scary too. There is one person who assures me she learned to deal with panic attacks purely because I'd shown her it could be done. I don't like taking the credit. The strength to deal with it came from her not me but I digress.
I remember the horror that was Sidmouth all too well. You were so sad that weekend!
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