January 22, 2008

  • Wrathful

    I was angry with my friend
    I told my wrath, my wrath did end
    I was angry with my foe.
    I told it not: my wrath did grow.

    I’ve spent most of the evening being annoyed with everyone, myself included.  This began with a conversation in the office which I felt would be better in the pub, and said so… unfortunately, there’s leftover Christmas wine in the pub, so the office was declared to be the pub.  I whinged to my friends.  They were bracing and teasing: I was not in the mood.  I wanted sympathy.  I sulked, noisily.  I work in an open plan office with eight guys.  The other women on the floor are in their own offices, with doors.  It gets very trying on occasion, particularly when the chaps don’t bother to engage their brains before opening their mouths – this is increasingly often.

    I went over to Selfridges, to buy coloured jelly beans to decorate tonight’s batch of fairy cakes (I spread the mixture out a bit too much, so they are very sunken fairy cakes.  This is also annoying.  As is the fact that the green icing is the right colour, but too runny while the pink icing is the correct consistency but too dark.  There are too many cakes for the cake rack.).  I wandered round the confectionery department, and the cards, and concluded that the only way anyone was going to buy me anything in the expensive chocolate line from Selfridges was if I bought it for myself, and the only Valentine I was going to receive this year would be from my Mummy, and that, although it shouldn’t matter, it does matter, and I am annoyed by that.  I texted a couple of people to ask if I was being unreasonable, on various matters.  They have not replied, so I can only conclude that I am being unreasonable.  Therefore, I am annoyed, both with them, and with myself.  With myself for being both unreasonable, and for being annoyed about it.  And for beating myself up over it (I could go into further detail, but, frankly, it’s irrelevant).

    The annoyance abated somewhat when I wandered out of Selfridges to get the bus home, and walked past Michael Buerk looking very dapper in a dinner jacket.  It came back full force when someone thumped me with their elbow while in the process of retrieving their travelcard from their coat.  Matters improved with the mixing of fairy cakes when I got home, which was a neatly absorbing sort of activity, particularly after I switched off the radio (it was annoying me) and listened to Douglas Adams going on a hunt for Aye-Ayes and Komodo dragons.

    It is a vicious circle.  I am annoyed with myself for being annoyed at other people. I am annoyed by the way I have reacted.  I am annoyed because I know I’ve been thoughtless.  I am annoyed because I should be perfect.  Hubris in action….

    Oh.  And I’m annoyed because I’m on call tonight, so neither alcohol nor melatonin is indicated….

    xxx

    OK. Jane Brocket I am not.  But, there is a certain recherché charm to these wonky fairy cakes.  And I’m watching Withnail & I, again.  This is helping me to regain perspective.

    Jan 2008 035

    The jellybeans are bubblegum, orange sorbet and lemon-lime flavours.  And I’ve only eaten one (it fell on the carpet in the sitting room, and I thought fluffy + sunken + erratic was a really bad combination: I had intended to eat the orange-sorbet ones myself, but somehow they escaped onto the icing).  I’m very pleased with the pale green icing: the pink stuff is slightly less orangey than the picture looks.  It’s more of a blue-pink.

    Time to fold up everyone’s laundry, and to find my iban number, else the rent isn’t going to get paid.  Well.  The rent would still be paid even if the laundry weren’t folded, but the iban number is vital… 

    Oh: good news.  There are 19 rooms booked for the chaps and self for the away rugby match and ceilidh on Saturday.  I occupy the 19th all on my own.

    xxx