I have my three month end of probation review tomorrow.  My boss is very hands off, and only mentioned it today, so, hopefully, he'll be happy with what I've been up to.  However, I did manage to review my various targets for what I was supposed to be doing ("The list that'll take you all year") and by dint of an hour's focus on documentation, actually achieved some of them.

Documentation, bane of my life, but beloved of managers, as it it is measurable.

In other news, I managed to make supper tonight without any drama.  Last night, I set the smoke detector off, at the same time as burning myself on hot fat (hello blisters and frozen peas during the night), and, at the end of it all, was so overwrought that I couldn't eat most of what I'd produced.

Tonight I merely welded the custard to the bottom of the saucepan, leaving a rather interesting caramelised smell in the kitchen.  And discovered that the blackberries had gone mouldy, so we're having custard and jam for pudding instead.  The pan is soaking, the jam is Tiptree Little Scarlet.  Yum.  Will mail to the Americas in return for, oh, edibles and hugs.

So it goes.

xxx

A sort of reverse list

• had bath.  Broke beloved coffee mug.
• Cleared out two bags of clobber from wardrobe, including My First Suit™ which looks like it belongs to my much bigger sister, and has done ever since I moved down to London
• Sorted out the laundry, including the sheets
• Waited in for a letter, which arrived, which it transpired I didn't really need to wait in for.
• Helped sew up Macmillan Blankets.  If you ask Ciorstaidh very nicely, she has photos.
• Got given glorious laceweight yarn to knit up.  Felt a bit guilty about having coveted it when I first saw it.
• Felt dire afterwards, probably due to lack of food during the day.
• Ate something, and sorted out various birthday presents.  Bought a new coffee mug and some Christmas Cards, and Presents.
• Made discovery that I have randomly lost half a kilo, and I'm not exactly sure where. Or how.  The landlord of the pub that the rugby club use informed me that my tatas were smaller than he remembered...
• Failed to play pub golf with the rugby club, but went home to watch Ghost.  Rugby club (and I can see their point) saw me as peripheral.  Would have helped had I worn my Hawaiian.
• Knitted Em's stole a bit more, and think I am more than 3/4 way through.
• Slept muchly, but still felt a bit urky.
• Took several bags to the charity shop, acquired a pair of trousers for my Welshman, and a TM Lewin shirt for me.
• Drank coffee, and then went to the supermarket.  Acquired quantity of food, plus replacement milk for the Great Dane Puppy.
• Took my Great Aunt's Congregation of the Children of Mary certificate to be framed.  It will be expensive, but it will look wonderful.  I've used the framers before (they're in the market), and they do excellent work.
• Bought a new cycle helmet (old helmet was 10 years old, and the strap wasn't terribly well fixed.  Sorry about that), and a bike lock (bike now properly insured, as has bike lock that is efficacious).
• Bought a copy of 'The French Lieutenant's Woman', a theatre book for Frogspawn21's birthday, a biography for Mum from the nice secondhand bookshop near the bike shop.  Had only gone in for the first - the library's copy is due back tomorrow and cannot be renewed as someone has reserved it.
• Staggered home under weight of new acquisitions.  Fitted bike lock to bike, and helmet to head.
• Delivered letter to Council Offices near Euston, detoured home via a local nature reserve thing, which I couldn't really see properly through the gate, but which smelt... natural.  Decided to take the Brownies one day.
• Came home, filled the dishwasher with salt, worried about the state of the kitchen floor (green in some places, cracked in others), decided I want a new kitchen but lack the energy to do anything more about that at this point.
• Ate chocolate brownie, drank tea.  Read blogs, and realised that ring is whizzing about in a most annoying way as I type.  Texted former Brownie's Mother, to let her know about a unit with spaces in the general vicinity.  Got text back.  Brownie says hi.
• Next up: sort out the Brownies' accounts, buy citric acid, find patterns for the laceweight yarn (600 yards, two different but contrasting shades), and all before my Welshman arrives (at eightish, as opposed to tennish).
• Put off until later on: sign into Guiding Online and add the Brownies names in, hem two skirts and the new tablecloth, mend socks.

It's only 7.15pm and it's dark.  Must ensure have enough batteries for bicycle lights.

xxx

OneHotProcessor knitted these for me.  I love them.

And these were made from yarn SorrowAndSong gave me.

I made the booties in December, and only finally photographed them.

Comfort Squares

I called the square above 'Accursed' because there was a lot of ripping out.  Satisfying, though, an Alice Starmore pattern (my first, and, I hope, not my last).

This square was made by Em, and I crocheted an edging so we could include it in the blanket.

And this is my Daddy doing Semaphore (letter 'D')

xxx

I've been up since seven: my friend insomnia hit. It's a combination of an apalling cold, feeling feverish, and knowing that Em's memorial service is today and her brother, mother, father and fiancé are using my flat as a base to change in, that I haven't got the blutac, that I need to print umpteen photos, and iron my shirt, and the printer needed testing and so forth.

Achieved already

• Test printer
• Print reading for J
• Tidy kitchen
• Tidy bedroom
• Breakfast
• Partial tidy sitting room
• Download photos
• Wrap birthday present Jo
• Check lottery results from end of August (my Daddy bought me a ticket - but I didn't win)

To do

• Burn photos to disk and print
• Get Jo birthday card
• Blu tac
• Move helium to hallway
• Iron shirt
• Finish tidying sitting room
• Memorial
• Balloon release
• Sleep lots
• Brownies Accounts
• Laundry
• Knitting (finish penultimate Macmillan Square, start one last square)
• Photos of knitting Taken, but not yet posted.
• Hug my Welshman (he's coming up from Bath specially for the memorial. I am a lucky girl). He totally charmed the Guides while he was blowing up helium filled balloons.
• Dye duvet covers for Brownies
• Get dye for same
• Order bicarb of soda
• Sort out next week's Guide meeting.
• Probably cry again (I finally managed the page for Em's memorial book last night and cried and cried and cried in the process.  I think the word is 'cathartic'.  It was not my best writing, that's for sure).   I had a miniature wibble
• Write biography of self for book (or, possibly, ask Mum to help).
• Hem tablecloth
• Sign into Guiding Online
• Send letter to old Guide Captain re. old uniforms
• Take stuff to secondhand shop  Three bags out of about seven have been taken, and I've filled in a gift aid form, as several more will go and the chap in there was incredibly cheerful.
• Deal with eBay issue (Size 3 converse are NOT UK size 4). I've sent a message, but not yet heard back.

It has been a busy week.  On Monday I forgit what did, but there was macaroni cheese for supper.  On Tuesday, there was cooking, with  a visit from Em's Dear Other, and a ceremonial viewing of 'Dirty Dancing'.  Wednesday, we planned Brownies (my Welshman cooked for us, and Tawny Owl wants the recipe), Thursday I went to see La Cage Aux Folles with friends, which I would have enjoyed so much more if I'd not been going down with a cold - I may go later in the run, as I think that the cast has lots of potential but isn't quite settled and the pacing was off (it ended late).  The male dancers. Wow. So talented.  We stage doored Mr Barrowman, and I have his autograph, but he was so busy making jokes with a professional autograph hunter that I couldn't get a word in edgewise. Mind you, I was so cold ridden, I wouldn't have wanted to talk to me.  Last night was Brownies and Guides.  The Guides were their usual challenging selves, and I finally laid to rest that one group is NOT getting their Performing Arts badges.  Distinct lack of a performance, plus some really rather appalling writing in the script book (the language, my dears).  Not up to scratch, and it makes a mockery of everyone who did do the badge properly.  Guides work to a common standard.

Right.  Boots is nearly open now, so I can Get On With It.

xxx

It got a bit hectic today, as we ran about, and organised: at 7pm, I was able to wave goodbye to people.  It was exhausting.

Em's Memorial was lovely (apart from the organist who was playing at a dirge-like speed.  At the second verse of Jerusalem, my Welshman charged off, in a very good, loud, tuneful, baritone at the speed he thought we should be going.  I agreed.  It did not help, the congregation went off at their own speed, the organist ignored him.  I laughed a lot).  The Guides did Em proud, and the rest of us proud.  We sang 'This Little Guiding Light of Mine' and 'Land of the Silver Birch'.  They learnt them last night, and they learnt them well.  My Welshman liked that part. Two read little bits that they'd written, and I read that extract from Head Girl of the Chalet School.  The bit where Madge tells the girls that 'Death is just falling asleep to awaken with God'.  It's such a lovely, comforting sentiment.  It still made me want to cry. 

We just about organised everyone up to the Park to release balloons (although the Minister had suggested that we 'process', it was more of a straggle, what with the pavement, the number of tourists, the road works and whathaveyou) - if you saw a small sea of pink, white, yellow and blue balloons over London at about 3 ish, that was us.  We sent Em some messages by them.  It looked lovely - several people took photos, the sun shone, and, I hope, we gave everyone happy feelings to go home with.  The girls came round to mine, then Em's mum and brother and Dear Other came to collect various things they'd left before the service, and, while starting to feel perkier as the cold abated, I started to feel more and more and more tired.  The more tired I am, the harder I find it to deal with people.  To the point where I want to whimper.

I'm glad we managed to fill a photo album with pictures of Em, and give it to her Mum.  I'm glad I found the photo corners at the crucial moment.  Mum bought me that album, and I never used it, and I think she'd like that it's gone to be filled with pictures.  I can print more copies of the ones I like - there's a better copy of my favourite picture of Em and I together on the CD that I put together this morning than I had printed off.  Incidentally, Snappy Snaps on the High Street are wonderful.  Half hour service (actually, about 20 minutes, because I was first in), very sweet, and knocked a quid off the price, so it cost me £10 for 30 prints.  I was most impressed, and I think everyone should go there.  Boots had an epic failure: total lack of photography staff and no one seemed to know when they'd arrive.

I'm at just that point of tired where I think pulling the dishwasher out to deal with its failure to drain is a good plan.  I shan't, I don't have the energy.  However, I seriously regret putting a plastic spoon in it, as it fell down between the bottom drawer's grid, and has attached itself to the heating element.  Result?  I cannot pull out the bottom drawer, and, thus, cannot put in the BILLION empty cups from all the tea I've made.

So I shall sort that out.  Heave!  Ho!  HEAVE! PULL!

Then I shall scramble some eggs and vegetate gently in front of the TV, or possibly Withnail and I.   Regain my table top.  Get some order back.  Put some knitted socks on.  Relax and just let it be for a bit, and enjoy life.

xxx

I'm exhausted.  A hot bath has dealt with the aches from the Last Night of the Proms - if you watched, and saw a Brown Flag, that was us... Heavy old thing, and I was holding it as far up in the air as I could reach.  I could do with a handy very-tall-gentleman!  My Welshman refuses to have any involvement with the Last Night of the Proms whatsoever, which means I am at liberty to behave exactly as I desire, and not worry about embarrassing him (for example, next year, we are plotting to wear copies of original Guide uniforms).

I have spent the last hour on the phone, delivering the news regarding Em's memorial service, as there was a distinct lack of Guides on Friday night.  We had 7 girls, and several more apparently did not know it was this week/were ill/were doing things with Mum and forgot to tell us that they weren't going to be there.  It really is annoying.  We prepare for at least 15 girls each week, and to have half that number does seem like a waste of chocolate (that said, with that much chocolate spare, and five Guiders, it was not really wasted).

All I want to do now is knit.  However.

• Food shop
• Laundry (including sheets)
• Knit
• Package up needles for Ciorstaidh84
• Hem tablecloth
• Final run through of The Book plus Afterword
• Ask the Dishy Barrister re. head/shoulder shot
• Warn Great Dane Puppy re arrival of helium at work
• Ensure smart uniform actually clean and tidy My necker is at Brownies, and my shirt needs an iron.  However, since my Welshman irons himself a shirt most mornings, I feel confident about delegating that job.
• Polish badges
• Burn CD rugby photos for ex-President of Club need an address!
• Generally bring emails up to date
• Edge crochet square (I know what this means, even if you don't)
• Bundle up books to pass onto various Guiders  Reckon I can do this on Wednesday when we have a planning meeting.
• Brownies accounts (tie up last year, start this year, possibly defer to Tuesday night).
• Sign into Guiding Online (again, possibly defer to Tuesday night)
• Send letter to old Guide Captain re. old uniforms
• Solve problem of parent who does not want to get child to Brownies except via other people driving the child.
• Solve problem of parent who has moved out of our catchment area and would like to transfer her Brownie.
• Invite another child or two to Brownies

Right now, my toes are freezing cold and I need to get on with stuff.  I think I'm scared of The Book.

xxx

Really.  Content here is entirely lacking, and I am always pleasantly surprised that anyone is reading!  Bless you all!

I have managed to wangle an extra day off this week.  I wanted to have the whole rest of the week off to just Do Nothing prior to the Centenary Kickoff, but it's not exactly happening.  Ah well.   A day is better than a kick in the teeth, after all.

• Buy new light bulb for bathroom.  Fit same
• Mail parcels Do I get bonus points for remembering to buy stamps for the eBay stuff?
• Parcel up stuff from eBay once sold (am big blue meanie, and refused to put a magazine on 'buy it now' when it had one watcher and no bids and less than 24 hours to run). Or just fail as magazines are 2mm bigger than the envelopes.  Must therefore go to Rymans and buy more envelopes.
• Knit squares for Mum's sweater - I need about 30 (yes, I know, about is not a helpful number, but then she doesn't want the full length, and it's all made up of mitred squares sewn together).  Three done...
• Sort out everything for Centenary Party, and pack into pink suitcase Also hang around for more stuff to be delivered.Apparently sorting everything out involves washing glue spreaders as well as laundering the uniform (and thus the rest of the laundry) that a Guide left behind at camp.  Who would have thought it, eh?!
• Label groundsheet Or perhaps do this when we get to the event?  I carry a Sharpie at all times...
• Locate neckerchief
• Book taxi for Saturday morning, let D know when said taxi is arriving/departing
• Rewrites
• Put dishwasher contents away, clear draining board (I love the Great Dane Puppy, however since his girlfriend came over from Australia, there is a sight more washing up just hanging about the place in various stages between dirty and clean but not AWAY.  I am beginning to turn into a tidy fascist).
• Print photos
• Make poster
• Buy gin Am rather impressed that I was not ID'd, but instead had a proper grownup conversation about whether the gin I was buying was better than Gordon's or not.  I think it is, but then again I was buying it.
• Drink gin cointreau (I have yet another sore throat).

I am sure there is more, but I forget right now.

xxx